Special Needs Boy Scouts

[ssswope]

My son recently graduated from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. Scouting is a new world for me but I'm willing to learn. The Boy Scouts boys do not know how to deal with a special needs Boy Scouts. Any suggestions? Thanks, Sherry

[Nuts4Scouts]

Why do you say that the boys in the Troop do not know how to deal with a special needs Scout? Is there a particular behavior that they are showing? Or are they simply insensitive to his needs?

How severely special needs is he? Does he need adaptations? How comfortable is he with talking about his disability?

When he is comfortable with/capable of discussing it, it might help if he talked to his SM & Senior Patrol Leader, & asked if the whole Troop could work together on the Disabilities Awareness Merit Badge. This could be an enlightening experience for everyone (including your son).

Please note - I said that he should be the one to talk to his SM. Unless part of his special needs is communication, & he has an adaption in place where you must be there to communicate/advocate for him, he should do this himself. You can be there nearby for support, but he is no longer a Cub Scout & as a Boy Scout he needs to learn to do things on his own.


BTW - WELCOME !

[CommissionerTim]

Nut4Scouts is right... I too have been disabled for 21 years... the best thing I have ever done was talk to EVERYONE that would listen about my disability. When I broke my back in a motorcycle accident, I was paralyzed for life from the chest down. This was during my junior year of high school. When I came back to school the following year nobody knew what to say or do when I was in the room with them... yes they were polite, but the conversation was only small talk. I knew I had to do something, so I told my homeroom teacher I needed to talk to the class before we start the school year. He was very happy I wanted to do this and let me do it... After telling about what had happened and what I had to relearn how to do etc... I asked the class if they had any questions... one guy stood up and asked his question in a jokingly way and I replied in a jokingly way and that broke the ice... from then on the entire class knew there really was nothing wrong with me and I got to do everything with them during my senior year.

My troop that I was involved with even came to visit me while I was in the hospital so my advice is the same as Nut4Scouts... encourage him to talk with the entire troop about his disability. The boys will understand and will also help him anyway they can and are allowed by your son to help.

Disabilities come in many forms and if you look hard enough, you'll find that most of the boys in any troop will have some sort of disability. Some you'll see right off the bat and others you won't see until you start working with the boy.

In my opinion, the greatest thing a troop can do is get the entire troop to earn the Disabilities Awareness merit badge... boys will learn so much about themselves and their own disability no matter what degree it may be.

When boys start heckling and teasing another boy because of his disability, it's because they have some sort of fear of that disability and the only thing that can overcome fear is knowledge. The boys need to be taught about your son's disability and from there they will overcome their fear and start understanding and having compassion and empathy for your son...

[miscoutmom]

HI!!!
I reluctantly became my son's Webelo 1 leader when he was 9... and continued on to be the Webelo 2 leader as well. In my pack, Jacob was fully accepted after some ice breaking occured. Jacob has Sotos-Like Syndrome...
Within the syndrome he has Aspergers/Autistic-like, ODD and is dyslexic. <among other things>. The leaders embrased him, the kids learned from him and he benefitted from the social interaction. It was the best thing I could ever had done!...

In February, Jacob and I went through some culture shock when all 6 of my Webelos recieved their Arrow of Light..... I said to them, you are all big guys now... and moved up to the Troop wondering... How lost will my son be? Do I need to set up adaptations? Will they be ok with him? Will he rise up and achieve?

I have found myself a committee member to a wonderful and small Troop, everyone is great with Jacob and patient, but doesn't baby him to treat him like he's slow. The patrol leaders have shown some wonderful patience with him. Moments I want to kill the child, the patrol leaders just take in stride. He and I have similar personalities and argue with each other... I have had to learn to ask Jacob. "What did your patrol leader tell you to do??" "Are you finished, Go ask your patrol leader for another job to do.>

We have no adaptations yet. The Troopmaster is patient in questions and doesn't get to complicated with him. We do the knot tieing in steps, rather than expecting him to just do them. The Troopmaster also gives me the ability to help in questioning. Sometimes he knows the answer, you just have to ask the right way. etc etc... I don't believe he'll make it past 1st class without having adaptations made up, but we are going to wing it and see how he progresses. His Troopmaster meeting is done by himself.

If you need someone to chat with.. or to grumble too. I have a willing email box and would be happy to help in anyway.

Good luck
Jenny
Troop 744:cool:

[WendyW]

Unknown about others, but our council has entire districts devoted to Scouts of Asian decent, African decent, as well as for those with a variety of 'special needs'...There are troops out there devoted to the cause.

Our troop gained a 'special needs' Scout last year. A shy fellow whose mother would prefer to do the 'dump and dash' if we allowed it. He's a bigger kid, who whoops and hollers and runs around during meetings flapping his arms about, disrupting the meeting and actually frightens some of the newer, smaller sized Scouts in the troop. His Mom asked one day, 'what's a first class scout?" I opened the book, and began explaining what Scouting is all about, but she closed it for me and just laughed,instead asking if I'd like to see some new photos of her pet. Then I'll be asked why the boys aren't warming up to him, as they did in the movie 'Radio'.

I understand the need to 'mainstream' these kids, to get them out with other kids and enjoy life, but understand that we volunteers have a hard enough time scaring up free minutes between work, home and Scouting.
Being afforded the 'opportunity' to spend even more precious free time on training to deal with one Scouts needs isn't a real option for most- especially when the parent isn't willing to lend a helping hand to the 'Baby Sitters of America"

[WB Bear]

By no means am I an expect on some of the "special needs" kids but does this boys behavior something other than a lack of the ability to behave? I do think that help or some assistance from his family should be requested.

[miscoutmom]

Oy... I had a dump n dash parent while in Webelos. Ugh, I'm so glad I don't do that anymore.... I really ..ummm.. disliked <yeah, that's a nice word>.. disliked working with them. :rolleyes: The boy was out of control, irritating and had few manners and disrupted the other boys that wanted to learn and participate. He also had no impairments.

I can honestly say that I'd look up the local adapted Scouts group in the area and pass the address to her. She needs leaders used to working with boys like the one your describing. Some troops and packs are very able to handle moderately to severely impaired boys... others, not so much. My son is high functioning and I'm still most always around. I'm also fully involved too. Sounds to me lilke your troopmaster and committee needs to have a meeting with the mom regarding her son's future in THAT troop. He may be much happier in an adapted Cub Scout pack. He may enjoy more fun and less chit chat and reading. Truly, my Jacob can only take so much book time before he's off in a corner spinning around for a bit <until he can be redirected>

Don't get discouraged... the worse that can happen... the mom will get ticked and not come back. The best that can happen is that she will get the hint and put her son in the pack/troop that best suits him. I'd also record the conversation so that she can't go to the council and say he was discriminated against or put words in your mouths.

Good luck!!!

Jenny
Troop 744 :cool:

[BelieveInScouting]

Why do you say that the boys in the Troop do not know how to deal with a special needs Scout? Is there a particular behavior that they are showing? Or are they simply insensitive to his needs?

When he is comfortable with/capable of discussing it, it might help if he talked to his SM & Senior Patrol Leader, & asked if the whole Troop could work together on the Disabilities Awareness Merit Badge. This could be an enlightening experience for everyone (including your son).

Please note - I said that he should be the one to talk to his SM. Unless part of his special needs is communication, & he has an adaption in place where you must be there to communicate/advocate for him, he should do this himself. You can be there nearby for support, but he is no longer a Cub Scout & as a Boy Scout he needs to learn to do things on his own.

What if part of his disability is that he has a processing disorder and pressure situations overwhelm him and he is totally unable to approach the scoutmaster with things like this? I know of a boy who is almost a First Class Scout and by looking at him you wouldn't think anything was wrong with him, he has a high IQ and gets along with most (not all) kids, but absolutely shuts down when he needs to do anything that makes him nervous. His body cannot process the "feeling" of being nervous or anxious and just goes into a tailspin and just will not talk.

You just can't make him do it - and if you rely on him to handle this on his own, nothing will get done and he'll end up sitting in a corner.

BUT - if I walk over there and try to talk to him and make any attempt to help him get something done, I'm accused of coddling and told to back off...

SPECIAL NEEDS doesn't have to be something on the outside.... in this day and age, emotional special needs must be dealt with as well...

[Nuts4Scouts]

Of course emotional problems must be dealt with as well. In many cases emotional problems come hand-in-hand with other special needs.

However, a processing disorder that completely shuts down his body when he gets nervous is NOT strictly an emotional problem.

He must be dealing with this problem somehow, he has almost made First Class rank, participated in at least 3 SM Conferences and 2 BOR's. Sounds like he is managing to get some things done.

If this is getting to be a real problem for him, his parents should be consulted. They might have a particular mechanism they use to help him thru these periods that they could share with the Troop. They might not be aware he is having a problem at Scouts. Maybe if they knew they could get some help from his Pdoc on the issue. The parents of any special needs boy should always be consulted when a problem surfaces.

[WB Bear]

All boys are different. Almost all boys have feelings of shyness and insecurity. That’s just part of growing up. Scouting helps the boys learn how to deal with these issues themselves. I do agree if the boy is almost a 1st Class that he has had contact with the Scoutmaster and also other adults in his BOR.

[BelieveInScouting]

THe parent is very aware of what's going on... and every day is different with him. What works one day may not the next...

He's gotten this far (BoR's) with prepping, etc. and being around people he knows. His BoR's are simple, because the committee understands, but again, it's an unpredictable thing.

There are just so many people who think that if a scout - if anyone - doesn't have a physical disability, then they don't have one. It would be great if leaders could take a training class in how to deal with some of this...

[Nuts4Scouts]

Part of the problem is that there are many folks who simply refuse to believe that some of these disorders are real. Training would not help. They feel they are just excuses for bad behavior. As a result they treat the kids with sarcasm, rude behavior and punishments. :(

It is a shame.

[miscoutmom]

I will help Jacob when demonstrating requirements he's learned or when question and answer time is needed so his book can be signed. He did his last troopmaster meeting himself, but it was the first meeting to earn the Scout badge.
Jacob is the kind of kid that you have to ask the question just right. I've gotten used to it, but he needs almost yes or no questions. Nothing to complicated or he gets confused and "I don't know" is all he'll say, when he does actually know the answer.
Nodoby has accused me of hanging on him to much yet in the Troop, but I do appreciate their input if they see me getting on him to much. I don't know how much till be involved with him getting to 1st class... hopefully by then he'll do better in the meetings. We need to get Tenderfoot first though :D


Jenny
Troop 744 :cool:

[twcrawford]

My son recently graduated from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. Scouting is a new world for me but I'm willing to learn. The Boy Scouts boys do not know how to deal with a special needs Boy Scouts. Any suggestions? Thanks, Sherry

Sherry,
I can emphathize to a degree with you but there are different "special needs" so the best way we can help with suggestions is to know what the special needs are for your son.

Could it be that the boys are treating your son like they do everyone else? If so that is the highest compliment they can give to your son and you. Sometimes what we mom's perceive as not dealing well is actually treating him like an equal and basically ignoring the fact that your son has a problem so that he can feel like "one of the guys." As long as they aren't making your son feel bad about himself, then what harm can treating him like normal do? Since you put him in Scouts, I know you want him to grow up into a real man and letting him fight his own battles is a large part of that process too. That is a really hard thing to do but they will surprise you with how strong they really are and just what they can really do once they are challanged.

In case you might think I don't know about special needs boys, my son, who is a Life Scout, is ADHD and scouting has helped him become unmedicated with great control over his "handicap." He has reached the point where if we don't tell, they don't know this about him unless they've known him for years. We've always treated him like a normal boy as has his Scout leaders and he is now a 16 yo who can control his body. He, like most teenage boys can't always control his mouth :D , but he has recruited boys into scouts, gone to National Jamboree, worked at summer camp, and has made lots of friends in scouts.

I do have other questions though. How many troops did you visit as a Webelo? Did you visit every troop in the area or just the one your Pack feeds? If you only visited the one troop, then take your son and visit the others. You may find a troop that has several special needs boys in it where your son will feel more comfortable. There is a troop in my council that has more than 1 Scout with Asperger's Syndrome as well as a Scout that has to use aids to move around. Those leaders are special people who know how to treat those boys so they don't feel like they are any different from the so called normal boys. There is another unit in my district who will soon be receiving a wheel chair bound Webelo Scout. His parents have made sure that he is as involved as much as physically able and his soon to be Scoutmaster is already working out how to adapt parts of the program for him.