Pushy Parents

[Frogman]

Greetings:

I have an issue going on with my sons pack. one of the parents in my son's den is extremely pushy about what recognitions(Achivments, electives, Belt loops, Pins, Medals, ect....) that her son should have. Every week this past year she came to the meetings with a list of things her son had done and the recognition that he should get. At first I was glad to have a parent that showed interest int eh program and the work her son did. I quickly turned off though by the fact she came every week and demanded these things. I have taken the matter to the Cubmaster and the Commetie chair person. After we talked about the matter we spoke with the mother who informed us that she was insulted by our lack of careing about the progress her son had made. We have decided to require some form of proof ( for all scouts) before we will sign them off for completion of items.

Can anyone out there offer up any other advice as to handle this situation.

Regards:

[WB Bear]

The first thing I would suggest is have the mother go to training.

[Frogman]

We considered that, but the fear with it is that after being trained she will push to be a leader within the den. The common thought is that would be a bad idea for the pack and may cost us boys due to there parents not agreeing with her. I kow that might sound crude and shrude but we are a small town with only about 12-15 active boys in the pack. I would hate to lose the ones we have due to the actions of one parent.. I will though bring that option of sending her to training up again.

[SM_453]

Remember that the Number one reason for all the problems with any unit can be traced to adults.

I'm sure you all know this but, we should say it to help guide your Committee and Leaders to a peaceful resolution.
In the Cub program, the parent does sign the book.
In the WEBELOS program it's the Leader.

Let us assume this, She is doing what she believes is best for her son. Training is alway the best thing but, She will must believe in the program too and follow the rules of the Program. Cubs is suppose to be instant recognition, that's why the came up with the beads for the Den awards. Bigger awards are for the Pack meeting to Publicly acknowledge their achievement.
Maybe you can try this approach...
Compliment her on her commitment to her son's achievements. Then Give her an Leader application and ask her to be the Packs Advancement Coordinator and in charge of the Pack/Den Advancement Ceremonies, track the boys advancement and pickup all the awards. Be sure to give her all the Training information and Training dates to get started. (Be sure to mention it's only and Hour a week:D )

Good luck,
SM

[Nuts4Scouts]

We have decided to require some form of proof ( for all scouts) before we will sign them off for completion of items.

If you and the other leaders in you Pack have gone thru all of the training, then you must know that requiring proof is against BSA policy.

In Tiger, Wolf and Bear dens the Parents are considered to be "Akela" (Leader) and can sign off on any and all achievements, electives, etc that their son does. As a matter of fact, according to the Cub Scout program, MOST of the achievements and electives SHOULD be done at home with the family.

The ONLY time you can question what has been signed off by a parent is if the requirement states that something should be done, or shared, with the den or Pack and it has not happened. Or, if the requirement is to attend a council /district summer camp and they have not done that. Other than that, you MUST take the parents word that the Scout Did His Best.

Requiring all Scouts to PROVE what they have done is ADDING to requirements and is not allowed by BSA.

Personaly, I think it is GREAT that she worked on so much a home with her son. He must be a motivated boy who is having a lot of fun in the program!

Also, giving you a list weekly of the things he has finished should help you with your paperwork. However, every award does not get awarded at den meetings. Only the Immediate Recognition beads should be awarded then. All other recognitions should be listed on your den advancement form and given to your Pack Advancement person. They, in turn purchase awards monthly from your local Council Scout Shop for the entire Pack and the awards are presented at the monthly Pack meetings.

Many Packs, due to lack of funds, put a limit on the number of "extra" awards (belt loops/pins, participation patches, etc) that they will purchase per boy, per year. Anything over that number must be paid for by the family. However, this is a Pack Committee decision and should be communicated clearly to every family who joins.

[Den5Pack457]

The whole time I'm reading this thread, I have a reoccurring thought:

"Sounds like we got a volunteer for Advancement Chair!"

If you could channel this parents enthusiasm towards her Scout into supporting the entire Pack, it may do wonders.

Also, maybe the responsibility would humble this parent once they see how much work goes into recognition and advancement.

I'd also recommend this parent head up a fundraiser to bolster the recognition item budget, too.

In my experience, one of two things usually happen to a pushy parent when you ask them to step up:

1) They become outstanding committee members/helpers
2) Or, they back off

[Frogman]

Proof was a poor choice of words. And to clearify the bigest consern I have is her signing him off on things that require that they chart or display the item.

As for her thought of her being an advancment chair, she could care less about hthe rest of the boys as long as her son looks like the best scout in the group

[WB Bear]

Bill S has some really good ideas. Training is one of the most effective tools though, both for the outspoken parent and also the existing Pack leaders. Many problems can be alleviated by a good knowledge of what “the book” says about Scouting. This mother’s enthusiasm needs to be directed in a more productive way. But be careful she isn’t give too big of a piece of the pie until you are able to see what direction she will go.