New Guy, Well Sorta, With a Dilemma

[Reluctant_Eagle]

Hey folks. I'm getting back into scouting after 37 years. Yes that's right, I haven't worn a scout uniform since 1971. And therein lies my problem.

I made "Eagle" late in 1970 at the tender young age of 13, not due to my own initiative, but due to the influence of my super "gung-ho" Marine Corps father. He knew that he would be rotating back to Vietnam that year and he was bound and determined that I was going to make "Eagle" before he left. So over the course of the summer I somehow amassed the remaining merit badges that I needed to fulfill the requirement, and although I didn't feel I was ready, they scheduled a board for me and I somehow passed. I was awarded my Eagle about a month later along with several other sons of Marine fathers that were also deploying that year.

I struggled with this for years. I have never felt like I really earned the Eagle, and that it was mostly through my father's efforts that I got as far as I did.

Fast forward to present day. Our Pack leader is a personal friend, and has been to our house several times and has seen pictures of me in my scout uniform and has commented about my Eagle, and wished that he had one. He has asked me to be a Tiger Leader this year, and seeing as I have a 6 yr old (late in life) son who wants to join scouts I agreed. So last night I started filling out the leader application and came to the spot where it asks "Are You an Eagle Scout?", and it got me to thinking.

I am supposed to be an example to these boys and model the scout oath and scout law, but to claim something that I do not feel I have rightfully earned makes me a hypocrite in my book. I know that I can answer "yes" and no one will be the wiser, but I have to live with myself. If I answer 'no" would it be lying? I am thinking about writing a letter explaining my position and why I am answering "no".

I need some advice concerning this

[Nuts4Scouts]

Are you saying all the Merit Badge Counselors who signed off on your Merit Badges lied? Are you saying you never really did any of the work?

Are you saying you never held a leadership position in your Troop and lied about it on your Eagle application?

Are you saying you never planned, developed, or led a service project?

Are you saying that everyone, or at least some, who signed off that you had completed your requirements for the Eagle, lied?

Are you saying that you, and everyone who signed it, lied on your Eagle Application?


If you can say a definite YES to any of the above questions, then you should contact BSA National headquarters and return your Eagle award.

Then you can answer honestly that NO, you are not an Eagle Scout.

If you did not lie, and you did complete the requirements as specified by BSA at the time to earn the rank of Eagle, then you are an Eagle Scout. It really does not matter if you felt that at 13, you were not "ready" to be an Eagle. Feeling that you are "ready" was (and is) not one of the requirements to earn the Eagle rank. Your local Council, and BSA National, felt that you had completed all of the requirements. That's it.

So you have a few options -

1) Return your Eagle Medal to BSA National - Check the "No I'm not an Eagle" box on the Adult Application.

2) Lie on your Adult Application and check the "No I'm not an Eagle" box.

3) The one I recommend - Get over it - Put the past where it belongs, in the past. Check the Yes, I'm an Eagle box on the Adult Application. Then start to ACT like an Eagle. Take training, and deliver the absolute best BSA program you can to your son and all of the other Scouts!

[Al Furlow]

Reluctant_Eagle

I would list it .

I was in the military for 20 years, and was a Cub Scout and a Boy Scout; I did not earn Eagle, but wish I did.
When I retired I felt that I could have done more then what I did. I felt there where better men around me that are better then me.
My 7 yrs son asked to join scouts, so now I am back in Scouting after over 30 years and loving it.

When I joined the Pack and was asked to be Cub Master I said yes, and took the challenge. Folks started to learn about me, and about my Army back ground. I felt that it should not play into Scouts, but it does and I share it with the leadership.

When I was about to get out, I had worries. Talking to a close friend about it help me a lot. We talked about the 20 years and the great folks I meet and the training I took. We talked about why I felt that it was just something I did. I felt there where better men then me, which I could not be like. But he looked into my eyes, smiled and told me not to down play my past, for not everyone is a Green Beret, like he said, and like I say too you, not everyone is an Eagle Scout. We both did something when we where young, and maybe did not really fell it then. But today we both have something that we can use share with others to help lead leaders, both young and old.

I would list it, for the walk of a Scout is a life time journey. Don’t question your past, its done, look foward towards a new future in Scouting.

Scout on

[Apache Bob]

I agree with Nut4Scouts. You are an Eagle and always will be. The past is past. You might not have earned the award in the manner you wanted but you did it. Many fathers have to push their sons along the trail. Many do it too hard. Many not enough. Your Dad did what he thought was best for you at the time.
Being a Scout leader is about working with the boys - Now. Not in the past.
On the application show that you are an Eagle. Then go to work with the Scouts and give them the best program you can give. It's for your son now.
Go for it.

[Den5Pack457]

Believe me (and the others who've already responded); you're not the first "reluctant Eagle" nor were you or ever be the last. I meet parents to this day bragging how they pushed their sons to Eagle and even a few palms. Sometimes the kids needed a nudge, and sometimes they've been dragged, kicking and screaming (or not audibly due to fear of reprisal).

Living vicariously through your children is an epidemic. Enter the parents who get in fist fights at softball and soccer games. The parents in cub scouts who go way overboard at the derbies.

So, I echo the same theme that nuts4scouts, al furlow, and apachebob concluded, with a twist:

1) Don't repeat history with your son. Let him lead his own journey in scouts - follow, mentor, guide, but do not force.
2) Give your Den your best.
3) Wear your Eagle Square knot proudly. It shows you DO meet the character traits that you feel a sense of humility for receiving your award under a pretense of force. But, you earned the required merit badges and even though it was less your initiative than your fathers discipline, you're all the better for it. You've learned from it.

Go forward and: “DO YOUR BEST!” :)

[BeaverMike]

Everyone has said it differently but I'd like to add my support for you and encouragement.

Having the Eagle badge is a youth award. You've got it. (Period)

"Being" an Eagle Scout is a lifetime responsibility.

Are you proud of the way you've lived your life? (physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight)
Have you provided leadership, no matter how big or small?
Do you support your community and your country?

If so, then you have lived the aims of Scouting and you ARE an Eagle Scout.

Good luck to you and your son.

---
Mike
(Eagle '84)